Sunday, January 30, 2011 @ 1:41 AM |
love. this word has never crossed my mind since 3 years ago. I don't know why i never ever think of it. however, it did cross my mind last night and today,the whole day.
I think i have a dilemma of not trusting any guys anymore. I have a dilemma that guys will cheat on me or break promises that they have made.
after chatting with HIM last night. I wish the time could travel back. I wish things were not like this. I wish.
but in reality, it will never come true.
what really tear me apart is. he told me he LIKED me. Liked in past tense. he actually liked me that time.
somehow or rather. the advantage of not being together last time is that we are still close friend until today. we still talked about last time.
it breaks my heart that it will never come true. for forever.
i have been waiting for him for 3 yrs. and i gave up. after i knew it was impossible.
maybe that's my fate. for having not-that-wonderful-first-love.
in fact, i realised that, i have been comparing him with all the guys i have met so far.
comparing their characters, looks, talents as well as his way of talking.
I have been finding someone who looks almost like him. and till today i cant find it. because i am afraid.
people always say that first love is an amazing one. i believe i have an unforgettable one.
and i will remember it till the last day of my life.
a little part of my heart is waiting for him. wishing some miracles to happen. but somehow it seems ..... impossible. but i will keep praying.
am i going to wait for him again??? it's been 6 years now. both of us have grown up into more mature lady and gentleman.
i really hope that miracles will happen soon.